Archie Bunker Quotes Guestbook

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Joe (
Date:4/3/2011 2:23:02 PM

Who was the patron saint of dingbats according to Archie?

St. Ann. Edith went to church with Irene, who gave her a gift. Gloria asked what it was. "St. Ann....a patron saint." "Of what?" Archie answered.


Date:3/25/2011 8:46:02 AM

I would really like to purchase the video of Archie Bunker when he and Edith are babysitting and Archie takes the baby to be baptized. He discovers that an Asian American is at the church and his further dismayed. Archie ends up baptizing the infant himself.

Can you help me?


Billmullens (
Date:3/15/2011 7:11:05 PM

great site


jeff (
Date:3/4/2011 7:16:08 PM

Who said the following and is this the correct quote:

"If your brain knew what your mouth was saying it would cut your throat"

We are debating whether it was Mike or Archie.


Mike (
Date:2/15/2011 3:26:06 AM

I can remember in an episode when Archie told Edith that he wished he would die before her so that he wouldn't suffer seeing her die. He refrenced that in the episode where she died, when he said he was supposed to go first. Do you know which episode that original toast was? I can't remember the whole toast.


Paul S. (
Date:11/3/2010 7:01:34 AM

Here's a couple of my favourites:
"Old people get took care of good in dis country, Meathead. Ainchoo neva' hoida' Medic-yuh [Medicare]?"
"I got a Joyman Shnauza deh, and a Joyman Flugel. I shot a Joyman coynel in da' butt wit' dat".
"Why doncha' go get some Chinkipunct-yuh [he meant acupuncture]?"
To a Jewish television repairman: "It's against your religion to refuse business, too!" Repairman replies with a lengthy Yiddish curse. Archie: "Whadduz dat' mean?"
Repairman: "You'll never know, but believe me, I got even". [BTW, the curse translates as "May you grow in the ground like an onion, with your head in the ground and your feet in the air"].


Aleasha (
Date:10/22/2010 2:54:00 PM
Subject:All In The Family

I have adored this show since childhood. It has brought so much pleasure!! One Archieism that I didn't notice is one where he is talking to Meathead and says..."You...are a WEIRDWOLF!" No one on this earth could have done a better Archie.


Maureen Misko (
Date:9/9/2010 11:23:50 AM
Subject:The poem read at Mike %26 Gloria's friends wedding

I am looking for the poem that was read at Mike %26 Gloria's friends wedding. Apparently it was also read at Mike and Gloria's wedding.
In the episode, Mike and Gloria were having problems in their marriage, and when the poem was read, it moved them to tears. I am looking for this poem for my own wedding. I hope you can help me.



Richard Dowell (
Date:4/26/2010 11:45:49 AM

Mike? It ain't enough that he's a Pinko and an atheist. You gonna turn him from a man to a morphadite?

Daddy, what's a morphadite?

That's when you have too much of one and not enough of neither.


Scott Ryan (
Date:4/3/2010 8:47:08 PM
Subject:Cant find the "Statue of Liberty" quote

I couldnt find Archie's "Statue of Liberty" quote. Went something like: "Gimme your poor, your tired, your deadbeats...."

Do you know it ?

Hi Scott,

I found the full version on

That ain't the American Way, buddy. No, siree. Listen here, professor. You're the one who need an American History lesson. You don't know nothin' about Lady Liberty standin' there in the harbor, with her torch on high screamin' out to all the nations in the world: "Send me your poor, your deadbeats, your filthy." And all the nations send 'em in here, they come swarming in like ants. Your Spanish P.R.'s from the Caribboin, your Japs, your Chinamen, your Krauts and your Hebes and your English fags. All of 'em come in here and they're all free to live in their own separate sections where they feel safe. And they'll bust your head if you go in there. *That's* what makes America great, buddy.


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